On Fire
by SurferGurl14
Summary: Even though there had never been a beginning. There was a heart-breaking end. He loved her at first sight, unconditionally and she destroyed it. Ikarishipping! Oneshot.


**ON FIRE**

_"Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever."_

_"You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why."_

_"A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears, I know I've cried."_

* * *

><p>He didn't even look back when he walked out of her room and slammed the door. In all his confusion, he found himself on the basketball court of their college- his only comfort.<p>

Crickets chirped and the moon shined bright. What time was it? He didn't know and he could care less. He bounced the basketball over and over, because at least that returned to him.

He was so confused. He has thought…they had the same feelings for each other. She had told him. Her words just echoed over and over.

"_We were never even friends in the first place. I didn't like you; it was Drew who I really liked."_

He just looked forward and up at the sky, his hurt written all over his face. He threw the ball hard at the net and it just bounced off and came back.

"_Actually I can't believe it, you thought bothering me, always being in front and behind me would make me fall crazy in love?"_

He moved the ball from one hand to another.

"_What was it you once called me? Troublesome? A troublesome girl enchanted the great Paul Shinji. How great! Dawn Berlitz made you fall in love."_

Paul cursed and looked around as he dribbled the ball with force. The basketball hit the ground harder each time. He wasn't able to control this anymore.

"_But Paul could care less for people. And I don't like you one bit."_

He wiped the few dried tears that had escaped from under his eye.

"_You use girls just to pass time. Well now, your time has passed."_

He blinked twice, trying to understand what could have made her think that she was a game to him. That he didn't care for her like he told her he did.

"_Do you remember at Gary's party when we played truth or dare? I had to pick the guy I liked to slow dance with? I picked Drew, not you."_

He looked down, still dribbling as he remembered the next part. The answer to his question.

"_So is it true that when you said there was something more between us, you lied?"_

"_I have no interest in you."_

The anger fueled up. He threw the ball at the chained fence surround the court. He put his hand in his pockets while the harsh cold wind blew against him. He swallowed a couple times to treat the sting. The sound of his phone ringing brought him out of his memory that happened an hour ago. He checked the caller ID, it was Gary who was probably the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment.

"Hello."

"Hey dude!" Paul recognized Ash's voice on the other side. Where are you?" Ash's voice was so cheerful when he was in so much despair, the irony was laughing.

"College."

"You are on your way here right?" Gary asked.

"What?" Paul felt both their smiled drop to frowns. "Uh, why? What happened?"

Gary laughed, "It's just that you lost something."

Yeah, Paul thought, I don't want to talk about nor remember it. His attention went back to Dawn.

But Paul's silence disturbed the other end of his conversation.

"HEY!" Gary called, snapping him back to reality.

"Yeah?" Paul asked softly.

"What's up with you?" Gary asked.

"You forgot our Valentine's Day party dude. We were gonna go out and have fun. Come on! Guy's night out!"

"Uh, I'm sorry but I'm not coming."

"Fine, if you aren't coming…" Gary started.

"Then we aren't going." Ash finished. "Plan cancelled," they both said together.

"Please guys, there's no need to do that."

"You need to not do that, you promised you come to guy's night out," Gary argued.

"Drew is coming as well," Ash added.

At Drew's name, Paul went silent as his thought drifted back to Dawn.

"Actually never mind," Ash said spontaneously, "We'll be there in 5 minutes, so get ready. Bye."

"Guys…" Paul tried to stop them but they had hung up. He looked up in annoyance. He didn't want them right now. He put his phone back by his bag, picked up the ball and continued dribbling. He made a shot when Dawn's words rushed back into his brain.

"_Drew's my best friend, he's always been my favorite. If I had to choose between you and him, I'd choose Drew, not you."_

He raised his hand to try and fight her words, but then he realized he couldn't. Unwanted tears placed themselves on the bridge of his eyes.

Then the basketball went above him and into the net.

"1-0." Drew called from behind him with a smile.

Paul couldn't face him. "Right, because you're number one; and I'm zero."

Drew's smile flipped as he realized for once, Paul wasn't in control. He was in a state Drew had never seen him in before. Vulnerability.

"Just chill man, I was just making a joke," Drew tried to smooth out.

Paul still didn't turn. "I wish I was."

"Paul, is there a problem?"

"How could Paul Shinji ever have a problem?"

Drew still didn't understand and Paul still hadn't turned. "Oh, so tell me, how was your Valentine's Day celebration? Everything according to plan, right?"

Drew knew. He had known from the start about his crush on Dawn. Just Drew. He could have been an idiot to tell Gary and Ash. Drew had helped him score with Dawn, because the two of them were best friends. Drew had been with him when he was preparing to tell Dawn he loved him. And when Drew was preparing to tell May.

Their best friend love triangle was perfect, in May's words. Dawn and Drew were best friends. Him and May were best friends. May and Dawn were best friends. Him and Drew were best friends. And that night they were planning on confessing.

Only Drew got the better deal. May had called him, crying because she caught Brendan cheating on her. He had sent Drew to go confront her while he went to climb up Dawn's window. Drew had gotten May's trust. And he had Dawn's love.

"The plan had a few problems."

Drew's eager face recoiled in confusion, because he realized Dawn had caused Paul's state. Paul had still not turned.

"Are these problems the really why you are so upset?"

"I don't know."

"Fine, fine." Drew put his hands up in surrender. "You just need to think. You don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I'm leaving." He turned to leave.

A few tears slid down Paul's face. "Stop." Drew stopped. After a moment of silence, Paul shook his head. He wasn't ready to tell him. "Never mind; go, just go."

Drew walked off and finally Paul turned, feeling bad for how he treated his friend.

* * *

><p>Gary and Ash slammed their car doors and were walking thought the parking lot when they ran into Drew.<p>

"Hey man, we were just going to the court to get Paul," Gary explained.

"Then we can all go!" Ash said, cheerfully.

"No thanks guys, I'm not coming," Drew tried to walk past them but they caught his arms.

"Come on, man!" Gary pleaded.

"You promised," Ash whined.

Drew just ignored them and kept walking, "There's something I have to do."

* * *

><p>"Hurt and anger, they should never mix," he told himself. Finally he fell to his knees and the tears all slipped past his defense.<p>

"How easily she was able to let me go. Dawn, how can it be true that you lied to me? That everything we had been through meant nothing t you? How can it be true that you had never even loved me at all?"

He felt as if she had set his heart on fire.

* * *

><p>He stayed like that until Gary and Ash were walking and he quickly got up and dried his eyes.<p>

"Hey Paul, what's wrong. Come on, tell us!" Ash shook his shoulder.

"It's nothing guys, I'll meet with you tomorrow," Paul pushed through their grasps.

"Paul!"

"Hey Paul!"

But Paul ignored them.

"Why is he so upset?" Ash wondered.

Gary snapped his finger, "He was acting just like Drew!"

"Something has definitely happened between the two of them," Ash concluded. "We have to do something."

"Agreed," Gary gestured that they go back to the car.

Ash grumbled on the ride back to Gary's house. "I can't believe they ditched us on guy's night out."

* * *

><p>Drew found Dawn crying in her bed.<p>

"What is wrong with you?" he yelled. "What did you do?"

Her sapphire eyes were surrounded by red. Suddenly he felt bad for yelling.

"I lied."

Drew blinked. "You what?"

"Paul told me he loved me. I lied. I told him I liked you."

Drew put a hand through his hair, "And why would you do that?"

"Because I love him and I couldn't tell him the truth. I can't tell any of you."

Drew sat down next to her on the bed. "Dawn what's going on."

"I'm leaving, moving away. And I'm not coming back. I found out this morning."

"Dawn, why didn't you tell us this morning? Why did you lie?"

She started crying again, "It was harder to tell the truth. I thought there would be less pain but there isn't. It still feels like my heart has been lit on fire, except I was the one who lit it."

"Tell Paul tomorrow."

"I won't be here tomorrow."

"Dawn…"

"I know, but can you do me a favor and give this to everyone?" Dawn handed him letters. One addressed to May, Leaf, Misty, Gary, Ash and himself. "This one is important. It's for Paul. Make sure he gets it."

"Promise." Drew got up; Dawn needed to be alone too.

"Goodbye Drew." More tears filled Dawn's eyes.

Drew kissed her hair like he always did to comfort her, "This is never the end. There is never the end. Keep in touch Dawn."

After getting into his car, he took Paul's letter and opened it.

_Dear Paul, _

_I lied. You probably don't want to read anything from me and I don't blame you, but I hope you read that. I didn't mean anything I told you and I definitely don't like Drew. I love you. I didn't know how to tell you I was leaving, and my charade came out instead. I don't know if this is our end. I really hope it isn't but if it is then I'm sorry. And I wish you the best, always._

_Love, Dawn_

* * *

><p>Paul had walked into the college, into the same corridor where he had first met her and looked out of the moonlight window as he remembered their memories, because that's where they would stay: in his memory. As he walked, a different memory played.<p>

Dancing to music when she bumped into him. Holding hands when he took her home from Brendan's party. Making a truce when they locked Ash and Misty in the supply closet. Handing her his jacket when they got locked in a room during Misty's party. The pink heart shaped balloon she handed him on his birthday. The goodnight kisses in his car. Their dance at the Sweetheart's Ball. The time they played basketball, the time she slept on his shoulder, every time he caught her from falling.

He let all the tears fall out because he knew. It was the end.

Even though there had never been a beginning.

There was a heart-breaking end.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I've been feeling that in a lot of Ikarishipping, Paul never shows his emotions so I wanted to write a hearbreaking Ikarishipping. And it definitley broke my heart. /3**

**Anyway review!**

**-SG**


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